Kona Kaiju Coffee

Kaiju - a Japanese word meaning "strange creature". In English, it has come to mean "monster" or "giant monster".


On May 3,  2018 the Island of Hawai’i was rocked by an event that caused serious destruction in the lower Puna region.  The event destroyed 700 homes and businesses in the Leilanai Estates and caused the evacuation of more than 2,000 residents.   The widespread destruction required a response from civil defense forces including the Hawaii National Guard who stood ready with land convoys, Blackhawk, Chinook and CH-53E Super Stallion helicopters.


Public reports of the incident cite a volcanic eruption as the cause of the event, but in reality the destruction was caused by the waking of a Kaiju.  Kaiju are giant monsters evolved from the exposure of earth animals to spaceborn materials deposited on earth millions of years ago.


The Islands of Hawaii have long been the home to Kaiju due to an extraterrestrial asteroid embedded in the Pacific Ocean millions of years ago.


During the Puna disaster a newly awakened Kaiju erupted from Kilauea melting several cubic miles of lava and creating a path of destruction on its way from the mountain to the sea.


As with all prior Kaiju disturbances documented by the US Military and UN Security Forces, the animal was coupled to a bi-pedal alien intelligence closely resembling a human.  Dubbed a “gorgon” by soldiers because seeing the creature tends to cause men to freeze up, this creature is closely linked with the Kaiju and is capable of exerting control over its actions.


During the course of the eruption a group of four local children enrolled in a martial arts class discovered the secret of the Kaiju while visiting a local museum.  Rather than disclosing the secret to adults, they decided to pursue the gorgon on their own.


The resulting adventure took them both across the water, up steep cliffs, through the state forest, across Volcano National Park and finally in direct conflict with the malevolent gorgon.


While the children pursued the Gorgon, the Kaiju was confronted by the military and tunneled into the mountain.  When it re-emerged it destroyed much of the crater rim including the Jaeger Visitor Center and a number of popular hiking trails.  The tunnel it created provided a path to the sea for lava built up in the center of the mountain and drained the crater where the animal had been growing for the past thirty years. 


During the final confrontation two of the children teamed up and used their Daito ( long sword ) and Shoto ( short sword ) to behead the gorgon and sever its link to the Kaiju.


With its link severed, the Kaiju entered the ocean and disappeared from US military monitoring systems, but not before shedding tons of soil rich in the nutrients that enabled its massive growth.


This windblown soil, sometimes mistaken for volcanic ash, is the secret ingredient that makes Kona Arabica coffee the best in the world.  Combined with weather and volcanic nutrients that are perfect for the cultivation of coffee, this unique soil helps Kona coffee to grow fast and strong while creating a mellow flavor profile that isn’t available anywhere else on earth.


When they returned home, the children brought both of the swords used to battle the gorgon.  They are on display at Guard Well Farm and remain sharp and ready for the next Kaiju outbreak on the Big Island.